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Pema Chodron

"The only reason we don't open our hearts and minds to other people is that they trigger confusion in us that we don't feel brave enough or sane enough to deal with. To the degree that we look clearly and compassionately at ourselves, we feel confident and fearless about looking into someone else's eyes."
- Pema Chodron

Peace

I feel very at peace now and i hope that moment doesn't pass too quickly. I'm watching "Seven Years in Tibet" and loving the way the portrayed His Holiness the Dalia Lama as a child! I've been studying the Dharma (teachings of the Buddha) for about a year now but I'm not ready to dive head first into the practice of Buddhism right now. I do call myself a "Buddhist" but its not true. So now, i just say i study the Dharma .


"An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind." ~ Buddha

**Listening to A.F.I.**

So things in my life have been going rather oddly lately. Seems like this time every year i start running into people from my past. This is usually a good thing but sometimes its a bad thing. I'm almost starting to believe that the reason i don't remember much from my high school years is because i blocked most of it out. I joined the Army and moved to Germany for a reason, i think that reason was to run away to a place where know one new me. People judged me for who i was then and there, not for what i did in my past. Of course i did share some of the not so found memories of my past with my "brothers in arms", and they still loved me for what i had become. Its to bad not everyone could feel that way.

So here i sit, I've been back in Indiana for about four years. Things were good at first but now it seems like its time for me to run again, and this time, never look back. Of course one of the true test to my future will come this weekend, i just want to see how it plays out and how it feels. I'm still sure that no matter what happens, i won't be happy here in central Indiana. Everyone knows i've alway hated it here, probably blogged about it. Oh well, this next year is going to be fun, i'll see to that ^_^

Quote

"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." ~ Siddhattha Gotama

Circle of Suffering

You know, it seems that every time i start to put faith in someone that they might be a little bit sincere with me, it blows up in my face! Of course my gut told me talking to this girl was wrong, i let her talk me into it. Have i actually gotten that lonely? Sadly, i think i may have.

Its the job man! It really has sucked the life out of me! Shit, I'm here sitting at home, bored out of my bloody mind and i get to wake up in the morning and be a slave to the telecommunication industry once again! I think that's whats driving me back in the Army. I never did want an ordinary life. It was nice always having someone to talk also. All my mates have seemed to become just as involved with their own lifes that i have with my job. Of course most of this is all my fault since i put myself in this place when i got my DUI. God how stupid i was and i never want to put my family through that every again! Ok, starting to ramble, gtg!

Thank god i'll be leaving for germany on saturday!

4 days and a wake up until I leave for Germany!!!